crunchwrapofnotredame:

asoftloveliness:

I hate when people call randomly… like if you’re not the love of my life or my mother, please text to schedule an appointment first.

milsae:

Happy New Year! of the golden pig :)

sailorbrazil:

alieneyeball:

Pepto Bismol puddle.

orcthot:

orcthot:

I passed out drunk as fuck last night, woke up, unlocked my phone and saw that this is what I was looking at

Ohhhhh my god my search history is even better

juliamstarr:

Instagram

juniperberrie:

beachcryptid:

beachcryptid:

beachcryptid:

anyone remember those betty crocker infomercials they played on cartoon network in the like the early-mid 2000s for no reason

there was also the chocolate factory commerical

My whole body just experienced deja vu 

prokopetz:

polystromy:

queerasstronomer:

queerasstronomer:

holy shit????? they’re talking about polyamory on the radio????????? and in a positive and understanding way?????? holy shit????

LMAO I TJOUGHT THIS DUDE AAS GONNA ASK SOME DUMBASS QUESTION ABOUT HOW SEX WORKS BUT INSTEAD HE GOES “okay so like…real important question here….who drives? like when u go places? do you call shotgun and then someone ends up all sad in the backseat?”

The real polyam questions

I’ve only ever met one poly couple face to face, so I’m sure this is by no means representative, but they avoided the issue by taking turns pretending to be a high-class chauffeur.

Like, one of them would sit up front and drive while the other two sat in the back, and when they arrived at their destination the driver would walk around and get the door for them, all *nods* “madam”.

They did this every time.